Empty’s Biggest Weekend EVAAAA!!!!!

Hey All.
For those that know Emptyeye and I on a personal level know that he’s been talking about ConnectiConn most of the time for the past 2 months. He actually just finished writing a post based on his experiences there this year. And Here it is!!!!

I’ll be back next week to let you know what I’ve been up to. Been working on a bunch of reviews for books, etc, that I’ve been reading. You’ll know when they’re up!

Oh, one more thing. This week I’m down to 230.2 from 245.4. You do the math! I’m pretty excited.

Hey Again Folks!!!

I’m so sorry that I haven’t been back in awhile. I’ve been off working on job applications, as well as taming my Facebook addiction. Yeah. I think I’ll start with the subject of Facebook applications. If any of my friends have noticed that I’ve been fairly quiet on Facebook recently, it’s because I’m frankly getting bored. There’s only so many times that you can go back to each application before you get bored with it. I think that’s happened to so many of the ones I used to like to do. I used to have so many (and even less of a life). Then one day I decided that I only needed several to keep me away from the real world. Almost as a distraction as I eat my breakfast in the morning. Then the ones that I couldn’t do in that hour and a half were cut, due to that time crunch.

As to what I’ve been up to instead of sitting in front of the computer? Well, now that it’s less than a month till the holidays (and MORE importantly, MAGFEST), I’ve been working on my scarfs a lot more.

I want to deliver them the evening of December 21st, so those that want to help me bring them to local hospitals just have to let me know. I’m practically begging for help this year. . . Please. Those that are spending their holidays in the hospital due to chemo treatments need to know that we’re thinking of them and praying for their swift recovery. If you do nothing else to help your community this year, come prepared with home made warm-weather wear.

Another thing I’ve been doing, is working on putting the final touches on Empty’s present. As a Wiccian, Yule is actually early than the Christian holiday of Christmas. But I celebrate both, because my family is the latter. Both sides, actually. As is Empty’s family. So things have been twice as stressful in my apartment. See, it’s hard to go all out on the celebration this year with no money coming in on my end. Therefore, I’m trying to be as frugal as I possibly can. I know with a bad economy this year, ALL of our gifts are apt to be less expensive. That fact makes me feel a bit better, but there are many things that are getting skipped over. Mostly hanging out with my out of state Wiccian friends. That was the first thing to go, really.

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my family. They’re the only people that see you for who you really are, and don’t give a flying fuck. They all drive me crazy beyond belief, but they’re great people down below somewhere. Even those that are refusing to say in state because they can’t handle things well. Just because you have some imaginary beef with several members of your family doesn’t mean that you can not show up and try to be civil during the holidays.

I get that my grandmother’s human and has her own issues, but does she HAVE to take it out on everybody but the one she’s supposedly mad at? What the hell am I talking about? It has a lot to deal with something my grandmother told me back a few years ago. It’s kinda personal, and I don’t think she would appreciate me talking about it on the web. But this issue she talked to me about has a lot to do with the bullshit that she’s been spilling into her relationship with my mom, and therefore between her and my sister and I. She doesn’t handle things well. She disappointments the entire family recently by saying that she’s not going to be in the state for the holidays. She doesn’t handle things well. A relationship between her and I has become so poisoned that I was kinda GLAD that the bitch doesn’t want to spread her ugliness around us during the holidays. But the other part of me really wants her to be there. She is, after all, my blood. My grandmother. . .

Another button pusher around holiday time in our family seems to be the difference in religion on my part. But my usual beef with the religion thing will probably ALWAYS apply here, because we just don’t see eye-to-eye on it.

Just so you know, my lack of faith in Jesus as the son of God does not make me evil. I’m still a good person at heart. I just don’t worship the same as most of the known world. I get scared like you all do. I help my fellow man when I can. I believe that there’s some deity out there playing with my fate strings. I know that I don’t completely control my destiny, and I’m okay with that. I use this time of year to prepare for the new year. And by new year I’m referring to Yule, the Winter Solstice (also known as the first day of Winter). I celebrate the light’s returning. I light lots of candles to light the dark until the sunrise. Tell me, would you consider my custom evil?

Anyway, now that I’ve got my rant out of the way, I hope you can understand how much my family’s opinion of me rules the way I view things with them. Back to what I was talking about before I started my rant.

Oh yeah. I was talking about my stress. You can see that celebrating two different holidays can get to you after awhile. I guess I never realized how much I spent on people’s gifts, wrapping paper, and other miscellaneous preparatory stuff until Empty and I moved in together last year. Or how much time it ACTUALLY takes to send out the cards to people. Or how much postage you need to cover everything. Or how much time it takes to knit 15 scarves for people you never met.

You see, I’ve left 5 scarves to the last minute. That’s ANOTHER tick to why I’m stressed. I don’t want to disappoint the Cancer patients during the holiday season by coming up short. Hence my urgent plea for more help. I can’t stress how important that it is for me to make sure we’re prepared for the number of patients spending their holidays in the hospital. You know, Empty having Cancer and spending his 21st birthday in the hospital was bad enough. But to spend the holidays in the hospital and isolated away from their families in the hospital getting the harsh chemo treatments. It breaks my heart. 😦

Oh, and mixed in with all the stress of the holidays, I have to worry about making plans for MAGFEST. As some of Empty’s online friends mentioned last year, we almost have to prepare for every contingency. Almost as if we were going off to war or something. Lots of electronics get put on the list, as well as small foodstuff.

Magfest is great. I’m actually working it this year, and Empty (if you haven’t already seen his posts about the subject) is speed running 5 games in a Charity Marathon. Here’s the link, if you want any more details.

So, with that, I have to worry about how I’m going to do my 25 hours working in the Game room and then go cheer Empty on as he does his speedruns.

So, my current stress level has been gone off the charts because of all that stuff too. But once it is ACTUALLY happening, it’ll all be worth the stress. It always has.

Since we’ve talked, I’ve been working with first graders learn how to read with the Guided Reading program at Maple Hill Elementary School in Naugatuck. It’s awesome to see how much they’ve improved since the beginning of the year. Also, it’s time to be doing some testing with them too. Before they go on Winter Break, Mrs. Fickel (their teacher) has to test them to know where they are in the longer list of words they need to know in order to leave the first grade. Also, Parent-Teacher conferences. I give her a lot of credit for dealing with all this stuff for as long as she has. I had her when I was in first grade. I remember loving her so much, that I wanted to be a teacher. Just like her. Somehow, that dream got sidetracked. I’ve been trying, a lot lately, to find out how I got so far off track from that dream.

I’ve come to love those kids, even the trouble makers. Probably more than I got to love the kids in my U 5/6 soccer team, if that’s at all possible. I can almost see why Mrs. Fickel has kept going with her job. Seeing the couple of groups I’ve worked with improve as much as they have has been very satisfying. Even with the trouble makers and the stress of Parent-Teacher conferences, I can see that Mrs. Fickel feels VERY satisfied with her job at the end of the day. I have begun to see that I want that. Getting there, however, is part of the problem.

Let’s see, I’ve pretty much given up on the calorie count. It wasn’t really getting me anywhere because of the fact that I never wrote anything down as I was chowing down on it. But that’s all I REALLY want to say on the matter.

So before I leave you, I’ll leave you a nugget of information. Empty’s mother got the results of Mitzy’s toxicology report recently. It looks as if the only things in Mitzy’s system that night, were a bit of alcohol and some coffee. We got to find out from that report, that Mitzy had some form of heart problem that she didn’t even share with her sisters. And mind you, they were all so close. . .

Alright folks, time for me to get back to the scarfs and other projects. I hope to see you soon.
Blessed Be and Happy Holidays everyone!

12+ days??? Oops.

I guess I have ALOT to apologize for this time. 1st, for skipping an update over the past few weeks about how my diet is going. The 2nd, for my future bitching about the first subject. The 3rd, for not just coming out and talking about the details of my scarf project. 4th, I haven’t mentioned any of the books I’ve been reading recently. 5th, about anything of note that I’ve been up to besides #3 & #4.

Alright. Let’s talk about the more depressing news first (at least, it’s depressing to me). I think I’ve gained back all that I lost before the last entry. Let’s see;
The Week Before Last’s Weigh-in: 217.4
Last Week’s Weigh-in: 219.8
Today’s weigh-in: 218.2

Now that I think about it, mostly the only thing that changed since the last entry’s weight loss is the fact that I drank soda. I lost a lb when I stopped drinking it. So it’s a note to myself, that soda= more pounds in the ‘gain’ category. Also, I have to say that all the junk food I ate that weekend had finally caught up to me. I also have to say, me being sick made it hard for me to exercise all those extra calories off that normally wouldn’t have mattered in the grand scheme of things. The weight loss this week, is attributed to the fact that I didn’t eat anything more than soup and light meals for most of this week. Not the exercise thing.
Speaking of exercise, you can all be proud of me. I wasn’t feeling exactly 100 %, but I made myself walk the long way to the P.O. box and back (which means, I took a mile and a half more of a walk than was needed. 3 miles today was my goal, and I hit it hard!!!). It felt good to get off my couch for awhile. Especially since I’ve been a bump on a log for the past week.

The second piece of news, is that since I’ve been sitting on my ass, I’ve had more time to watch TV and work on my scarves for Cancer patients. I’m up to #4 now. That just means I’m working faster than I predicted. It feels nice to be ahead of schedule on SOMETHING . . .
So, other than watching LOTS and LOTS of “Ghost Hunters” and “Kathy Griffin’s ‘My Life On the D-List,” I’ve been trying to narrow down the list of projects that I’ve dropped over the years.
I’ve meant to re-read Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” series. Started the first, the “Gunslinger.” If you’re looking for a new series, I recommend this one. I obviously liked it enough to re-read it, and gush about it in between reads.
There are other books on this list of my dropped projects list, including actually FINISHING a few of the books that my Creative Writing classmates and teacher recommended. Also, I’ve got a lot of stories that I’ve gotten off the internet to finish reading. You see, if you have a short attention span, there’s a website for you where you can read part of a story every day. Some are free. Some are as much as the book would be in the bookstores. If you want to see what I mean, go here.

So, you can see that I haven’t been up to TOO much this past couple of weeks. Other than what I mentioned, I spent this past weekend on Facebook, dropping a few applications into places, and doing more typing stuff up. And eating. Yeah. Did some of that before the cold got too bad. Marc was away in Mass at another convention. Missed him (Hence some of the food intake, if you must know).

As to the future of Silverdom? Let’s see, I’m going to be pet-sitting for my aunt and uncle when they go away. I miss having animals around, so I was VERY happy that she asked. Other than that, there’s not too much that’s coming up in my neck of the woods.

Anyway, back to putting in job applications. Talk to you all later.

Another Week Bites The Dust

Hey all. It’s back to the business of my diet details. I ate all sorts of crap while Empty was away at Connecticon this past weekend, and still ended up weighing in under what I did last week. Can anyone suggest as to why this is?
Weigh in: 209.4
I kid you not!!! I really am baffled. I logged everything I ate down into a spreadsheet and all that too, so I know EXACTLY how much crap I ate, and how many useless calories I put in my piehole. Brownies, Peanut Butter Cookies, Sugar cookies, Twizzlers, 2 cases of soda. The whole bit. I DID manage to not eat so much cheese (besides the stuff on the whole pizza I ate).
Geez. As I look back on the spreadsheet, I realize that my eating habits when Empty’s away would make a nutritionist have a freaking hernia!!!!

Those that know me, know that I don’t often let my ego take a hit very often and admit that I have no idea about something. Or that I’m baffled about something. I try to hide my bafflement.

Anyway, on to other things . . .

The “Knitting to Quit Cancer” project. I’m doing my part by doing at least 20 rows a night. My second scarf is coming along nicely. Still haven’t gotten any volunteers for the knitting part. Again, let me know if you want to do anything to help me out. I don’t want to be an army of one doing this. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t MIND doing it myself, but I would like to think that there are other people out there in the great state of CT that care about people that are going through cancer. I’m willing to TEACH knitting to anyone. I consider myself an expert in the art of scarf making, especially in the basic knit and purl stitches (knitting 101). Just don’t ask me how to make anything other than scarves and blankets. Patterns have always eluded me. Knitting has always been a way for me to relax my over-active hands. I find that I’m more chill on the days that I DO knit. So anyone with blood pressure or stress issues might want to give it a try.

Let’s see, Facebook has been my recent drug. I have so many applications going, that I almost forget that there are other sites out there. . . It’s crazy. Don’t get me wrong, if one or another goes down, I don’t care as much as many people out there. The only time recently that I’ve felt withdrawal when something went down was the great Farm Town debacle. And I got over that FAST, especially when the flair came out mocking it.
Let’s see, I’ve been on: Pet Pupz, Cute Catz, Happy Horses, Farm Town, Farmville, YoVille, Mafia Wars, Crime Empires, SuperPoke! Pets, Roller Coaster Kingdom, 101 Eggs and more, Hatchlings, Blood Lust, Pet Society, Sorority Life, Food Fling, water balloon fight, and Pillow Fight. Yeah, I think that’s all of them. . .
DAMN!!! Never knew I had that many, until I started listing them all.

My newest obsession, digitalizing my life. Basically, I’ve been trying to scan and type up all of my old journals, all the stories and poems I’ve written, and even my checkbook register. I’m trying to keep my mind and body busy while I’m dropping applications and all that every day. Since most applications you can drop online nowadays, I spend a fair amount of time online. I got bored with doing only one thing at a time, obviously. . .

Empty’s birthday is Monday. Make sure you say hi to him and wish him a happy 26th.
Anyway, back to work. Later.

“Saving” Remy Zero

If anyone’s seen my Facebook profile message and was confused as to why I had to save Remy Zero, I guess I need to explain. Remy Zero is the band that sings “Save Me” for the Smallville TV series. I’ve been watching the first and second seasons over the past several days while I’ve been spending alot of time searching for Hatchlings (a Facebook game I’ve discovered). So, there you are. . . Anybody else a fan of Smallville? Let me know. . .

This week’s weigh-in: 209.4 lbs. I can officially say that the plateau has been broken for now. AWESOME!!!

I’ll celebrate by going out to dinner with Marc. Then for a Tagalong Blizzard from DQ. Till then, later!!!

Finally, some results.

Hey all.
First thing I’m excited about, is the fact that my Uncle has consented to take me on, at least for one day, with his cleaning business. It gives me something to do besides put in applications for a day.
The second thing that I’m so excited about is that I finally broke the plateau in my weight that I had reached. I’m now down to 212.2 lbs. And loving it, because I only sort-of listened to Dizzy. Usually, my weeks start on Friday and go to Thursday, so I almost got her advice too late. BTW, thanks for the friendly slap at the picnic Dizzy. I needed it to realize that I was eating a cheeseburger. Yeah, yeah. I know. The optimal word in that situation, was CHEESE. But see my previous comment about the subject. It’s almost like my crack. That and chocolate. I’ll be trying to have a more conscious mind about not ADDING the stuff.
The third thing, I think I finally got up the nerve to start writing again. Believe it or not, talking to Empty more about random stuff has got me thinking about how lax I was getting in my writing everyday thing. I’ll try writing a blurb about the Terryville County Fair, if I decide I want to go. We’ll see.
Anywho . . . I’m off to put in more applications and take care of stuff that I won’t be able to do all day tomorrow. Wish me luck with all that.

Post-Independence Day Post

Alright. I promised my readers a post. This week’s weigh-in was the same. I’ve decided that I’ll take Dizzy’s advice to heart. It’s too bad, because I REALLY love cheese. It’s like one of my cousin’s obsession with bacon. (this is hard to explain the similarity, if you don’t know her). I don’t know if I can, but I’m going to try REAL hard not to eat a shitload of cheese like I used to. Here’s to that. . .
Anyway, my Independence day was good. Ate WAY too much, and heard about alot of drama that I didn’t hear about yet about my cousin’s wedding. Other than that, I drank more of my mom’s 2009 Merlot Black Box than I should have. Ended up falling asleep in Empty’s lap toward the end as the sun was starting to go down. Made him drive me home.
Not too much has happened since. Have a Housewarming Party to go to Friday. That should be fun.
Anyway, gotta get going on getting stuff done before I finally get too tired.

Guess Who’s Back, Back Again . . . Silver’s Back. Tell Some Friends.

Alright. So I forgot to comment on my diet “experiment” recently. It happens, where I have nothing to comment on, and therefore, I forget to tell you. To be honest, this week’s report got lost in the way that I forgot to record what my new weight was. That happens too. The sad fact, is that I just realized that I didn’t even write it down. Just in time for the new week. I believe I managed to stay even with last weigh in. No proof of this, but there you go.

This week has been composed of yours truly trying to get a job. Other than that, not too much new stuff has happened in my neck of the woods.

I suppose I’ll try to do some writing soon. I promise you. I think I’m done procrastinating. Also had a dream about my characters last night, so I think that was my sign to continue the storyline.
See you in another couple of days or so.

Later Gator!!!

Why, hello there . . .

Alright. This week, not too much has been happening in my neck of the woods. Just did a lot of cleaning up and thinking about my cousin and her husband-to-be. Been thinking that maybe I was a little mean to him in a past blog. But my true intention was to state that there are things that women like to change about their men, but never can. No matter how much we want to. I was stating the fact that everyone I’ve ever known (including myself) has something that they need to have just so in order to move on to another thing. That’s all. No disrespect to my future cousin-in-law meant. I’m sorry if it hurts anyone that I speak

I’ve always been a chica that thinks like a dude. Sex on the brain alot. All my thoughts tend to side with the dirty. I have to have things spelled out for me sometimes. I don’t take hints well. You know, like a dude. But my thoughts race around and almost don’t connect like any girlfriend I’ve ever had.

Okay, I’ve been reading up on my news recently, and I’m surprised at the world the way it is. When the hell did we get so closed-minded? People taking objection to what amounts to other people’s business. Who cares what people do on their free time?
I’m going to go on my soap box tonight and ask, when the hell did the constitution get written to say that religion is included in state business? A separation of church and state!!! Banning Gay marriage on the basis that the bible says that marriage should be 1 man and 1 woman is VERY closed-minded, and not letting them be happy is just BULLSHIT!!! It’s also closed-minded and immoral.
We have a saying in Wiccianism. “An if it harm none, do as ye will.” What this means, is that if someone isn’t hurting oneself or someone else, then do what the hell you want. Write spells and celebrate anyway you want. I believe that banning Gay marriage is a direct violation of this natural instinct to be happy. The so-called conservatives of today’s society are harming people’s wishes to be happy with one another, based on the fact that they happen to be gay. There’s nothing “un-natural” about being in love with a woman if you happen to me a woman, or being in love with a man if you’re a man, mostly because one cannot judge what is natural. Nature is the trees. Not the “right way of loving” or the “right way of being.” Mother Nature means for us to be happy, at all costs.
You have to wonder, if you believe in a god that causes you to be so closed-minded, can it be worth it?
No, I don’t think that a higher power would say that he would want you to be unhappy, just because you happen to love someone of the same sex. Just as an FYI, the bible was written by a bunch of mortals. A so-called higher power may have “told” those individuals to write such rubbish about homosexuality being wrong, but where’s your proof? These individuals lived so long ago. They may have been just crack-pot old fools who smoked a little too much doobage and had a “vision” while still under the influence. Who the hell knows.

What got me thinking about all the above? Well, I found a video on the Onion that pissed me off. I know half of their shit is fake, but the message was what did it. The individual being interviewed said something about how gay people are trying to get around the loophole in the same-sex marriage ban by getting a sex change. That some people think that there should be a thorough investigation to make sure the “parts are real.” It’s a funny thought to think about, but VERY closed-minded. . . I honestly don’t know if the video was real or not, but I wanted to comment on it. And there you have it. . .

The second thing that caught my eye, was the following article on CNN.
Can you believe the nerve of this guy? I mean, who does he think he is. It’s not fair to those families of soldiers that might need a mouthpiece in Washington. People like that are despicable and MAKE ME SICK!!!

Okay, some good news. My cousin is getting married on Saturday. I’M nervous for her. I can’t imagine the stress she’s been under. I do wish her the best of luck.
Also, my brother made it in from California just over 2 hours ago, after his original flight being canceled at the last minute. That’s always good news. Can’t wait to see him again. I miss him like crazy, even if I didn’t see him much before when we WERE living in the same house. But that’s another story altogether. . .

Weigh In: 214.2 lbs.
That’s a loss of 2 lbs. Yay me!!!

Anyway, I should go. I have to be up to finish all my chores before we have to head to Albany for the wedding Saturday morning. I’ll try to come back early next week to fill you in on the ceremony and such. Later Gator!!!

Yesterday in Review

Alright. Since I’m STILL awake, I guess I’ll give you a rant about yesterday. Weigh-in. Gained another 1.8 pounds. I’ll have to try to be more active and stuff like that.
Let’s see, Empty and I went to see a friend of mine (Nicole Zuraitis) playing at the Red Door in Watertown. She’s awesome, but I’ve known that since high school. She’s got an album on itunes. Download it, and you can see how she is for yourself. She does jazz.
Other than those two things (and the fact that I’m STILL wide-the-fuck-awake), that’s all that really went down in my world.
So, yeah. I’m going to go read. Just on the off chance that it’ll put me asleep. I’ve tried to listen to music and stare at this screen to make me tired, but NO GO. EPIC FAIL!!!!

P.S. Yeah, you can probably check out Nicole’s website to find her album too. Above is the link.

Oh, yeah.

Just so you know, I’ve been running an experiment on how long I can keep a 1,500 calorie a day diet going.  I’m into EPIC FAIL mode, based on last week’s 2.8 lb gain.  I was over every day but the last one, so I knew it was going to hell in a handbasket.

It’s day 5 of week 6, and there are moments that I feel like eating my hand.  After the FAIL of last week, I’ve been trying to stay WAY under the 1,500 every day.  Moment of truth is Wednesday morning whenever I wake up and after my first pee of the day.

That’s the problem with experiments, you need a control.  The only thing I could think of, is the same time (relatively) every week, and the same day.  Oh wait, I lied.  I have another control.  Being as I’m VERY anal about things, this experiment has it’s own excel document.  Otherwise, I think it would have been headed in the same direction all of my other “diets” headed.  To EPIC FAILURE land!!!

At last weigh-in: 214.4.  My goal: to be down to 130 by the time I have to start fitting into a wedding dress. (which is a goal, I suppose)

The only truely crap food in the place now, is the soda that I suppose I should mix with the giant bottle of Captain Morgan that Empty bought this week. . .

On that note, I think I’m growing out of the like of being drunk.  I only had 2 shots of said drink, and I was not into it AT ALL.  Interesting thought for another time. . .